I have been working as a scriptwriter at a television network for 10 years.
In 2010, I went overseas for filming and was exposed to the sun for long hours. As a result, I became photosensitive and rashes started to appear on my face. When I returned to Singapore, I went for a check-up and was diagnosed with lupus, a condition where the immune system attacks the organs and causes the joints to swell. In my case, I was attacked in my skin. At that time, I would often feel feverish and my skin would swell, hurt and itch. My joints were also giving me so much pain that I could hardly bend my fingers.
As a result, I had to take steroids and it brought along many side effects. One of them included the thinning of my skin. Once, my skin peeled off after I tried opening a new jar of peanut butter. I was dumbfounded and realised that I had to be extra careful even while performing a simple task.
In addition, the rashes also left many open wounds on my body. I was in constant pain and suffered from an uncontrollable itch. Not only was I unable to sleep at night, I also lost all my confidence. Whenever I was out in public, people would avoid or despise me, for fear that my skin condition was contagious.
My joint problems also affected my work and I had difficulties typing out scripts. I was overwhelmed by worries and fears, and even fell into depression. I did not want to step out of the house and when I was alone, I would cry for no reason.
In my lowest moments, I would feel angry and helpless. I would cry, pray and question God’s presence in my situation.
Thankfully, my friends and family were there for me and God never left me. I also held fast to His promise in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."
During this time, I would have to do a detailed check-up regularly to ensure that my other organs were not under attack. According to the doctor, I had to be on steroids forever as lupus is incurable. It was as though I had been given a life sentence.
However, five years ago, the doctor said that my condition had stabilised and there were no more signs of lupus in my body. Hence, I was taken off steroids.
In 2015, I married my boyfriend, Kingsley. A year before we got married, he found out that he had testicular cancer. Four months before our wedding, he underwent surgery to remove the growing tumour, and a strong round of chemotherapy to prevent the cancer cells from spreading.
At that time, he had just accepted Christ as his Saviour and there were many things which he could not understand. His emotions were unstable, and he was stressed out. Nonetheless, he would encourage himself with Isaiah 53:5, that “by His stripes we are healed”.
During that time, the doctor could not determine the stage of his cancer. His tumour was malignant and 5 cm large and logically, the cancer cells should have spread but they did not. Hence, the doctor classified his cancer as Stage 1. We thank God for preserving him.
When the oncologist knew that we were about to get married, he encouraged Kingsley to freeze his sperms as many cancer patients have difficulty conceiving. He even said that because of the chemotherapy, Kingsley would not be able to have children in the next couple of years.
But one month after we got married, a miracle happened—I conceived! Initially, we could not believe it and visited a family doctor for further tests. According to the doctor, being a lupus patient, it was difficult for me to get pregnant. Furthermore, Kingsley had just recovered from testicular cancer treatment with chemotherapy. Yet, we conceived. It was indeed a miracle! Even Kingsley’s oncologist was very surprised. Today, our son is almost three years old and he is healthy and lively.
Han Xin Ru