No Longer Living a Life of Defeat

I am 46 years old and had suffered from major depression throughout my entire life. It intensified in my late 30s.

I was raised as a Christian and throughout my life, my mother has been very concerned about me. As a child, she would bring me to prayer partners or pastors for prayers. I remember experiencing the touch of God on numerous occasions after leaving these meetings.

However, I was very stubborn. I did not know how to move forward and would end up backsliding and drifting away from God. I became an easy target for the enemy and bought into so many of his lies and accusations. This almost destroyed my life. I attempted suicide three times, overdosing on my medications and had to be admitted into the intensive care unit.

I blamed God numerous times for my situation and would even curse Him. I felt that if He loved me so much then why would He allow Satan to make me feel so bad?

Every time I tried to get back on the saddle in my walk with God, I would feel His touch, but soon afterwards, I would do a spiritual face-plant. The enemy would accuse me, and it would take root in my mind. I would spin out of control and fall into another depression. I never felt I could live up to a standard of being worthy of God.

About two years ago, I began listening to Pastor Joseph Prince. The gospel of grace has changed my entire world. The work that God is doing through his ministry is just awesome. It has given me success in my walk with God.

Now, I know that I am the righteousness of God in Christ. Knowing that my standing with God is wrapped up in Jesus, I have learnt to keep my feelings separate from my identity. I have learnt not to trust in my feelings alone, but to always go back to being conscious of my right standing in Christ.

Joseph Jette